I get so many people asking me why did I decide to go natural? They want to know how much work is put into it, do I like it, how does my husband like it etc etc. Well with this Blog I would like to address the natural woman vs. the relaxed woman. Is there really a difference?
My story in short goes like this... after years of getting my hair fried by either the regular "Black beauty parlors" or the "Dominican hair salons" I got to NC and found I couldn’t get the deals I was used to in NYC. I was in sensed to hear prices like $35 for a wash and set or $65 for a relaxer when I was used to $15 and $40.. yes in Brooklyn we get tremendous price breaks : ~). Then to make matter worst, they didn’t have the products I was used to having in NY and one "stylist" actually singed a piece of my hair right on out and never uttered a word. I was beyond frustrated and along with everything else that was going on in my life I just decided to do my hair myself~~cut it off to 1.5".
The journey was nothing easy to say the least, I didn’t have the support system from my family and the stares from co workers, friends or people in the street really wasn’t an encouragement. Then on top of matters, I had received relaxers since I was 10 YEARS OLD. As my mom would say.. "I was too tender headed" so she put a relaxer to make it easier". I didn’t know how to mange this hair, I didn’t even know this hair. I was used to it slicked down and lifeless. Then when I attempted a Natural Stylist thinking the prices would be more economical since I cut it all off.. I came to find out it was no difference then what I received when I had the relaxer. So I went full throttle with it all.
I was told about Youtube and another world opened for me. I was able to read Blogs and subscribe to pages with great support groups and ideas for beginners, intermediate and full fledge naturals. I got through the hard to handle stages of my mane and grew extensive knowledge on how to give my own hair TLC. I didn’t have to rely on the old myth of a beautician getting the utmost recognition of "she has growing hair hands" or "such and such is the reason for my hair growth", or the "DRs" are the ones that make "black hair grow". I started reading what my hair needed and how to treat my hair. I styled my hair differently nearly every day to have a new look because now that I wasn’t restricted to slick super straight hair, I could do many other thing. Some people liked styles some didn’t ohh well. Now that I have grown nearly 8" of new hair to my head in less then 2 years/ basically make my own hair products and receive constant compliments is priceless. I want an additional by the end of Spring 2011 that will be the longest my hair has ever been and the sky is the limit from there. Currently it is longer then it was when I initially WOWWWW!!
I love the fact that I am not hiding behind that swoop of hair we all used to get when we would get that "blow out" at the DR spot. I stand out in a crowd be it good or bad and show people I am proud of my kinky hair, along with my dark skin and facial feature/ straight hair doesn’t make me "fly". I don’t need my hair to look like the Dominican that is styling my hair. Not saying anything is wrong with relaxers or weaves, but we have to come out of the mentality that our hair has to flow like other races. No one can imitate our hair and all the different textures that we have, but yet we want to imitate theirs. We cant find comfort in our God Blessed difference. What makes us so desperate to have someone blow 100 degree heat on our scalps to get our hair bone straight. Why do we sit in chairs with lye in our heads burning with someone telling us wait a little longer so it can be straighter? We do we have the Baby Boomers telling us "that nappy hair is a site and you need to get a 'perm' so your hair can look good. Why do we still contribute everyone's hair that is a different texture.. Either loosely curled or bone straight as "good hair"? This all has to stop. We need our spouses, boyfriends, friends and family to be supportive if we decide to make changes. Their minds has to get out of the shackles just like ours. We should only what the best for one another mentally as well as physically and going natural I do not see as anything negative. Again I am not saying RELAXERS OR WEAVES ARE WRONG. DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS. THIS IS JUST THE STAGE I AM AT IN MY LIFE AND I LIKE TO SHARE THE POSITIVE VIBES I FEEL FROM IT :-). I can wear my hair in its natural state "kinky", tightly coiled curly or blown bone STRAIGHT. Versatility is great.. And yes MY HAIR IS BEAUTIFUL.. Positive feed back is welcomed
I've become a ponytail queen but that's okay. That's my natural style.. :) And I love it as well. It stops no action and I get wonderful compliments on my beauty.
ReplyDeleteThat's Right Lady V! Rock it only the way you can !!!!
ReplyDeleteI love reading the debate about being natural or being relaxed or being weaved up and all styles have their pros and cons. I've had my hair relaxed since I was 18. The reason was simple...I got tired of washing, blow drying, and pressing my hair becoming an all day event. LOL I will admit, my hair was longer when it was natural and Lord knows I did a number on it when I initially relaxed my hair. I did so much damage that I wound up cutting my hair in a bob just below my ears in college. And to imagine, a couple of years prior to that my hair in it's natural state was about 3in past my shoulders when pressed. My hair in its natural state is thin and naturally frizzy. It doesn't have the really pretty "kinky curl" that I see in a lot of natural hairstyles. But like women who went natural, I learned how to take care of my hair and I follow a lot of the same regiment that I used when my hair was natural. Women need to do what they feel makes them look their best. I admire anyone who can rock a natural, locks, or a really hot weave. LOL For the time being, I will stick to my "creamy crack" 3-4x/ year and my wrap and keep it moving. LOL
ReplyDeleteEllecue.. that is it do what makes you look and feel great not emulate what you see on the boob tube lolll!! Girl rock those styles and keep them watchin the Diva in you :)
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